Press Play

This is something I wrote in the beginning of the year ... I don't mean it to be reminiscent in a broken-hearted way.. this all happened a long time ago and I'm a different person than I was then. I think its an interesting take on a large part of my life though...

Us being together is a total blur. I can't even remember it anymore. I wish I did sometimes, not for sentimental reasons, but because it was such a big part of my life. I can picture us together, I can see my favorite memories with you play through my head over and over again. But its like watching a movie. I don't know the people on the screen and I can't feel their happiness anymore. It was another time and its one that crosses my mind less and less with every passing day. I see the way she looks up at the boy like he was her whole world. I can tell by the boy's body language which stage in their relationship they're at. In the beginning he is facing toward her. You can tell in his eyes that he's happy. It switches to another scene. They are lying together on a couch with his mom and dad on the adjacent loveseat. She is wrapped safe in his arms and they are all laughing and watching television together. If I were to talk to this girl she would tell me how her dreams had come true and she couldn't ask for anyone better. The boy would tell me how amazing and special he thought the girl was. All seemed to be well and comfortable between the two. We could fast forward a couple months and still the same scene. The girl would still be happy, but the boy seems weary. But not for long - with one change in scenery, the boy is happier than he's ever been. The girl is flying on cloud 9. The two are happy together. They see no way this love could ever end. I wish I could pause the video and pull the girl aside. I want to warn her of how badly she will be hurt in the end. How badly she will be torn apart. She will have to lose her friends beforehand. Then she'll lose him. Then she'll lose the only one that gave her the strength to get up in the morning. Lastly, she'll lose herself. She'll lose everything she was and begin on a new journey to find herself. I'd like to warn the boy to think long and hard about leaving her. He will regret it and not be able to do anything to take it back. I wish I could pause it and let them go on living this happy life they think they're leading. But instead, I press play; I let the movie go on. I watch it all slowly unwind and in the very end I watch the screen split in two as they break apart. They are both broken and unaware of how to go on with their lives. The boy inflicts more pain on the girl than seemed physically possible by leaving her completely. There's nothing left for this girl; she's broken. But then I fast forward. I watch her slowly rebuild herself. Its unlike anything I've ever seen before. She becomes a new person with a new appreciation of life. She overcomes something she thought she 100% couldn't. I press stop and leave the room. I let her continue to live her life. I know she can do it without my invisible guidance now. She is stronger now than ever before because as they say - what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger